Author Archives: Abhi

4 women in discussion

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Even if you didn’t grow up a Catholic, you’ll appreciate this one……

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together,discussing how important their children are. The first one tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room everyone calls him “Father”.

The second Catholic woman chirps, “Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “Your Grace”.

The third Catholic woman says smugly, “Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “Your Eminence”.

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle “Well…?”She replies, “My son is a gorgeous, 6’2,” hard bodied, well hung, male stripper.

Oh my god

And whenever he walks into a room, women say, “Oh! My God!”

Inception or Confusion?

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Saturday, 17 July, 5 P.M.: We decided to watch Inception and not Tere Bin Laden as the latter didn’t gather good ratings from the critics. Here, I’ve to mention how my husband and his friends check reviews, without failing, every time they head out to the nearest movie theater.

inception

Well, we were 5 mins late! The action had already started because I could see buildings crumbling, a string of bomb blasts and yes water flooding the buildings (from where did all that water come?) …In the midst of the annoying action scenes on the screen I turned to my husband who was sitting next to me (poor guy!) and swamped him with questions “What’s happening?”, “How much did we miss?”

I started looking at my watch and to my horror another 2 and -a -half hours were remaining!! (While I am writing I try my best to not exceed more than two exclamation marks.) So, I was in for more madness and yes more head scratching and that very thought made me unutterably helpless. Because 190 bucks gone and I was sitting in the dark theater with confused junta (who were trying their best to comprehend what was going on) and super-confused characters on the screen.

I put away these distracting thoughts from my mind and tried to focus on the movie…You see I have a can-do attitude. “I can understand this mind boggling shit” with this attitude I focused on the screen. The scene had shifted to Paris where  Leonardo was meeting an architect to build dreams for his new assignment –  implanting an idea in some corporate honcho’s mind (OK so those buildings in the first scene were designed and it was a dream sequence) Gosh! Eureka! I understood it…I felt like jumping. But my excitement was short-lived because I heard Leo discussing something like “multiple layered dreams”. As if one layer was not enough to torture us. But again my can-do attitude came into the picture. You can understand multiple layered dreams, can’t you? (To be honest, the word “multi layer” reminded me of the delicious six-layered chocolate cake I had at my friend’s place last year.) Do not think about the cake Abhi, think about the movie, instead –  that’s exactly what I thought at that particular moment.

Aside from building dreams, Leonardo was following  his wife who was dead. Truly speaking I didn’t understand who was following whom. I mean whether he was following her or was it the other way round? And yes I’ve to mention something here – the Fischer guy (I mean the son and not the father) is actually drop-dead handsome.

Anyways after 3 hours of befuddling actions ( shooting at people who were not people but projections of mind, drowning, skiing etc) the movie ended leaving all of us with one question – did someone plant an idea into our minds that we watched the movie but actually we didn’t? I would have loved if that happened! To be very honest my can-do attitude didn’t quite work here. The movie left me with a crazy headache and I didn’t understand 1/4th of the movie and 3 long hours were excruciating and agonizing. The only relieving factor was that Fischer guy with deep blue eyes 😉

Crux of the 3-hour drama- Critics are not always correct. Some even write reviews in their dreams!

P.S. If you’ve watched Inception and didn’t understand what you saw for 3 hours, then, don’t worry. Check this link. It really helped me. Now, I know the Fischer guy’s off  screen name;)

31 Mistakes That Make Content Writers Look Stupid

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I’ve put together a list of 31 common mistakes that writers hate to commit (but they do):

1 Their going to visit Church today.(Correct sentence: They’re going to visit Church today.)

2 Its there. (Correct sentence: It’s there.)

3 I eat lesser than 2 meals a day. (Correct sentence: I eat fewer than 2 meals a day). For countable nouns use few/fewer.

4 People doesn’t take me seriously ( Correct sentence: People don’t take me seriously)

5 She’s lived in this neighborhood longer then I have (Correct sentence:  She’s lived in this neighborhood longer than I have.) Then is used as a time expression whereas Than is used for comparison.

6 Hey! You’re new car is amazing.  (Correct sentence: Hey! Your new car is amazing.) Your is a possessive pronoun whereas you’re a contraction of you are.

7 He teaches in an university. (Correct sentence: He teaches in a university.)

8 A hair drier can do much more than drying and styling your hair. (Correct sentence: A hair dryer can do much more than drying and styling your hair.) Dryer is the tool that makes things drier.

9 Miners’ bodies bought to surface at a mine in Welkom. (Correct sentence: Miners’ bodies brought to surface at a mine in Welkom.) Bought is past tense form of buy and Brought is the past tense of bring.

10 A thief is on the lose in the neighborhood. (Correct sentence: A thief is on the loose in the neighborhood.) Many people write loose when they mean lose. Loose when used as an adjective may mean not tight like loose trousers, lacking a sense of restraint like loose tongue, having escaped like criminals on the loose in the area etc. Lose is related to loss as in loss of a game, loss of weight etc.

11 How the new rules effect you? (Correct sentence: How the new rules affect you?)

12 Can you here me? (Correct sentence: Can you hear me?) Hear refers to the act of hearing and is always a verb whereas Here refers to the place where you are.

13The queue is four adults only. (Correct sentence: The queue is for adults only.) Four= 4 (3+1). Whereas For is the preposition to refer “appropriate to; intended for”.

14 Who is prejudiced to atheists? (Correct sentence: Who is prejudiced against atheists?)Remember– The word Prejudice is always followed by the preposition Against.

15 I have not seen him since a long time. (Correct sentence: I have not seen him for a long time.) When reckoning from a specified date we use Since but for an unspecified period of time we always use For.

16He sat in a table. (Correct sentence: He sat on a table.) When something clearly means on top of something then use ON.

17 I do not need your advise. (Correct sentence: I do not need your advice.) The two words: Advise and Advice are often mixed up. While using the words remember that Advise is a verb which means “give advise to” and Advice is used as a noun.

18 She was junior than me. (Correct sentence: She was junior to me.) Superlatives like junior, senior, superior and inferior are followed by To and not Than.

19We makes our own destiny. (Correct sentence: We make our own destiny.) If the subject is I, you, we or they then do not add an -s to the verb.

20 Rita look like her mother. (Correct sentence: Rita looks like her mother.) If the subject is a singular noun then add an –s to the verb.

21 My sisters sings beautifully. (Correct sentence: My sisters sing beautifully.) If the subject is plural then the verb is singular. And here the subject is not My but Sisters.

22 Childrens are beautiful. (Correct sentence: Children are beautiful.) Children is a plural form of child and thus the word does not require an –r.

23 The robbers were cot about an hour after the robbery took place. (Correct Sentence: The robbers were caught about an hour after the robbery took place.) Cot usually refers to a bed whereas caught is the past tense of catch.

24 I like funny peoples. (Correct sentence: I like funny people.) People is a plural form of person and thus it does not require an –s. However, there is a rare usage of the word Peoples which refers to “the  entire  body  of  persons  who  constitute  a  community  or  other  group  by  virtue  of  a  common  culture,  history,  etc.,”

25 Her families approval for the marriage is very important. (Correct sentence: Her family’s approval for the marriage is very important.) Families is the singular form of family and family’s indicates the possessive form.

26 He eight a lot of candies yesterday. (Correct sentence: He ate a lot of candies yesterday.) Eight is a cardinal number that comes after seven and ate implies the past tense of eat.

27 I don’t want to eat chocolates, beside, I don’t like chocolates. (Correct Sentence: I don’t want to eat chocolates, besides, I don’t like chocolates.)  Here use besides (which refers to “BTW” or “in addition to”) or else the meaning changes. Whereas beside refers to “next to” as in the shop is beside Ryan’s house.

28 I hope everybody are OK. (Correct Sentence: I hope everybody is OK.) To avoid any confusion just break up the word “every” +”body”. “ Body” is singular noun so you must use “is” .

29 I have a temperature. My reply would be “So, what? Everyone has a temperature.”  The correct sentence to be used in case you’re feeling feverish is “I have a high temperature.”

30 If I was you, I would ask her. (Correct Sentence: If I were you, I would ask her). After “if” we usually use the subjunctive “were” instead of “was”.

31 He followed the instructions to the alphabet. (Correct Sentence: He followed the instructions to the letter.)

Well, there are  many more! I know 😉 So, why don’t you help me make this list an exhaustive one ?

Big boys don’t cry!

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Big boys don’t cry! Well, says who? Do you remember the scene in “A Walk to Remember” where Jamie tells Landon that she has terminal leukemia and has stopped responding to treatments? Well, wasn’t Landon crying his eyes out while driving to his father. Wasn’t it cute? What say gals and guys?

For many, this might be cute and really romantic on screen but when it comes to reality they still are not comfortable with men crying. They want a man who is a man…to be correct a rugged man or a man made of steel. I asked a few of my friends (all of them in their twenties) what they thought about it and most of them accepted that they are not very comfortable with men who cry…they echoed the age-old “Guys who cry are mum’s boys” silly outlook.

“A knight in shining armour” who is tall, handsome, dark and has a rugged body somewhat like a Greek god – what the 20 of 25 girls (I was shocked!) called was their right man. Hope these girls don’t fall in love with the same boy! After all there aren’t many Greek gods or knights in shining armour left now! (You see them in museums…ok that was a lame joke)

So, what about the remaining 5…you must be thinking? You can thank God for creating these fearless women who don’t mind if their man cries his heart out. For them a man who is not afraid to cry or is unashamed when tears flow from his eyes is a DUDE because he can and knows how to let go.

“It’s the men who want to hide behind their rugged exterior and do not let the tears flow down make many women frightened” says Aparna, professor at one of the renowned colleges in Pune.  “It’s truly sad that guys don’t want to cry when they are sad. The only way they know to show their sadness is by being angry and violent” says Indira, an IT professional. She continues “I would rather marry a guy who is not ashamed to cry than one who expresses his pain via violence.”

And if you ask me I would say “I don’t give a shit how a man expresses his emotions as long as he is true and non violent”.

Why is Christmas different in 2009?

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Though we grew up listening to “Gifts don’t matter; it’s the feelings that matters” but most of us discard it as an overused cliche and indulge in mindless shopping spree during Christmas.  We want our gifts to be the best and in the frenzy credit and debt are overlooked. A nonprofit group reports that during the 2005 holiday season, Americans spent a total of $438.6 billion and in 2004, nearly 60% of American consumers incurred credit card debt while gift buying for Christmas. (http://www.thinkchristian.net/index.php/2006/12/03/taking-the-consumerism-out-of-christmas/).

According to telephone interviews conducted by American Research Group, Inc. with a random sample of 1,100 adults nationwide on November 10 through 13, 2008, the average planned spending for 2008 was $431. But what would be the spending figure in 2009? We are in the midst of one of the worst recessions since the early 1980s and highest unemployment, yet there are a few plastic – obsessed consumers who will spend the same way on this Christmas as they always do.

Over the years, Christmas has become entwined with shopping but if there was a time to re-evaluate the association of Christmas and gift giving then this is the time. High cost of living and unemployment have put a huge burden on many families. As the holiday season approaches, the families are showing signs of financial anxiety. It has been noticed that individuals or families going through financial problems would still spend recklessly and mindlessly at Christmas, to keep the allusion alive that their financial life is going great. They would shop, party, gift expensive presents to their relatives, friend, neighbors and colleagues to hide their money problems. It’s quite normal for an individual or a family to hide their money problems from their acquaintances but the problem gets aggravated when they can’t come to terms with the reality and accept that they are struggling financially. It is often the defiance to admit the problem and a person’s pride that fans the flames.

Why don’t you look at the matter like this: One of your friends is suffering from monetary problems and you are aware of his financial condition. Would you still expect a lavish and expensive Christmas gift from him? The answer would be a “No”, right? Why don’t you expect your friends, colleagues and family members to be just as supportive and understanding? Or is your pride stopping you from admitting that you are not being affected by the current economy and everything is hunky- dory in your already messy financial life?

We are living in a difficult time but we are not alone. The whole economy is suffering. Your colleagues, friends, your neighbors, in fact everyone around you is under some kind of pressure from the current economic conditions. Under such circumstances it is obvious that they would not expect you to shower them with expensive gifts. Do not forget that costly presents carry an obligation; the recipient feels that he has to reciprocate by gifting an equally expensive or more costly present. So, the next time you’re sending a thousand dollar exclusive chocolate box to your friend think about the obligation you are imposing on him?

12 Ways to Know That You Love Someone!

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TWELVE:
You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still think of him/her.

ELEVEN:
You walk really slowly when you are with him/her.

TEN:
You don’t feel Ok when he/she is far away.

NINE:
You smile when you hear his/her voice.

EIGHT:
When you look at him/her,you do not see other people around you.. You see only him/her.

SIX:
He/She is everything you want to think.

FIVE:
You realise that you smile every time you look at him/her.

FOUR:
You would do anything to see him/her.

THREE:
While you have been reading this, there was a person in your mind all the time.

TWO:
You’ve been so busy thinking of that person that you didn’t notice that number 7 is missing.

ONE:
You are going to check above if that’s true and now you are silently laughing at yourself.

Who’s vs Whose

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Today while browsing the net, I stumbled on a website that had a huge collection of quotes and read “Guess, who’s quote is this?” Well, who’s and whose are commonly confused words in English. Both these words have same pronunciation but completely different meaning.

Consider these sentences:

“Who’s there?”
“Who’s the manager?”
“He’s the man who’s in charge of the department.”

In each of these sentences we were saying:

“Who is there”?
“Who is the manager”?
“He’s the man who is in charge of the department.”

So, here we see that “who’s” is the contraction of “who is”. Now, take a look at this sentence:

“Parenting a child who’s been mentally tortured is difficult”. Here, “who’s” is being used as the contraction of who has.

Now, take a look at the sentence ““Guess, who’s quote is this?” Now, substitute “ who’s” in this construction with “who is” and “who has”, and see does it make any sense?

The correct word to be used here is “whose” as in “Guess, whose quote is this?”

Whose is a relative pronoun that indicates “belonging to someone”. In other words it shows possession. For instance,

“Whose car is this?”
“Jack is the person whose car is parked in the garage”

It’s my life or Its my life?

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It’s and its – two similar words which can drive anyone crazy.

It’s is a contraction of “ it is” or even sometimes “it has” – like It is not easy and It’s not easy OR It has been a long time and It’s been a long time.

Its is possessive adjective and possessive pronoun of “it”. For example: The dog stays in the cage. We have put its cage in the garden. Or The company has requested the market regulator to exempt it from making a full bid. Its request is being considered by the regulator. In both the sentences “Its” mean belonging to. In the first sentence it means the cage belonging to the dog and in the second one it means the request of the company.

An honest prayer

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Dear God

I am doing good, so far today I have not shouted, I have not spent hours on phone, I have not complained whiningly, I have not gossiped, I picked up my bedroom, I did not charge a single penny on my credit card, I was not selfish, not greedy and did not even touch my chocolate.

But I will be getting out of bed now and I think I really need your help then!

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