Author Archives: Abhi

HUSBAND STORE ;)

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CHECK THIS ONE:

WELCOME TO THE HUSBAND STORE:[;)]

husband store
(Source: freewebs.com)

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch…you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband…

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1: These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2: These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3: These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids and are extremely good looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4: These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5: These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6: You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Require director for A NGO

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No , don’t get me wrong! I am neither running a job portal nor an NGO. Today while sipping my morning coffee I noticed a job ad posted in a leading daily. It was for the post of director in a reputed NGO. The ad read: “XYZ ( name changed) requires a director for managing its sponsorship program. The ideal candidate should have 2 years experience in handling A NGO.” Errrr! Somebody goofed up here, it should have been: The ideal candidate should have 2 years experience in handling AN NGO and NOT A NGO.
There’s a big confusion regarding when to use a and an. Many of us usually think that “an” goes before all the words that start with vowels, like an apple, an egg, an umbrella etc. But there are a few exceptions. Consider words like “university”, “union” etc, though they begin with a vowel but the indefinite article that should be used before these words is A and not AN. The reason being the sound made by u in “university” and “union” is same as that of “y” in “you”. So, if you thought “an” university and “an” union is correct then pause for a moment and replace “university” with “you” and what do you get “AN You” 😀

Another word that begins with a vowel but does not take “an” before it is “one” We don’t say: “it was an one – sided match”. The correct construction is “it was a one – sided match.” The reason is o makes the same sound as w in won. So, what we see here is the usage of article does not depend on the written representation of the first letter in a word, i.e if the first letter of the word is a vowel then it’s not necessary that it will have “an” before it. It depends on the phonetic (sound) quality or pronunciation of the first letter in a word, i.e. if the first letter makes a vowel-type sound, you use “an” like “an hour”. If the first letter makes a consonant-type sound, you use “a.”

Usage of a/ an for abbreviations is also based on the pronunciation of the first letter. For instance, MBA, NRI, NGO, FBI etc all begin with a consonant but the first letter has a vowel type sound. So, “an” should be placed before them. However, if you are using the full name instead of acronym like Non-governmental organization instead of NGO then you should use “a Non-governmental organization.”

2 reasons why you should delete spam comments

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I hardly bothered about spam comments, I was more interested in writing blog posts and reading relevant comments. It was very recently that I asked this question to a good friend of mine (after all success is about asking right questions to the right people). He explained me in detail on how bad comments can harm a blog.

  1. Search Engines are dumbos: Search engines can distinguish between comments and blog (we can easily assume that esp with popular blog formats like wordpress) but still search engines may not be willing to send its users to a page that has adult and unaccepted content (in form of comment). Earlier the problems were even bigger, as the links inside the comments were counted as votes from your website (thanks to the no-follow tag that stops the value leaking from our pages). Still, you don’t want to upset the search engines by providing some unaccepted comment about sex, viagra and illegal drugs on your valuable blog post. So keep you blog space clean to get better rankings in google and other search engines.
  2. People don’t like to eat on the table where someone has already puked: Will you consider eating on a table where someone is puking? Certainly not! Same is true with your blog visitors, they don’t want to share the same space with spammers selling crap. They consider the blog totally neglected when they see unaccepted comments on the blog. There are many bloggers like Seth Godin, who does not even allow visitors to comment on his blog. So keep your blog space really clean to build a good reader base.

So these were the 2 reasons: Search Engines & your blog visitors.

He also explained me that there are valuable spams (Spams that are not by spammers but by real valuable people), so one needs to handle it carefully by informing the visitors before deleting their comments.

How to handle spam comments on your blog

  • Prevention is better than cure: So restrict the spammers by making an automated spam difficult, there are capthca, re-capthca and mathematical calculation based capthcas. This should take care of a lot of spam comments. Leave the rest to akismet, it does a wonderful job. Even after that, if you receive spam comments then buddy congratulate them for being really smart and delete it with a great appreciation for the spammer ;).
  • Cure: You get notification in email, so check it and delete it. Allow the first comment by a user to be moderated and let the rest of the comments by the same person appear automatically. Keep checking spams and delete them on regular basis. You can go to the comment section of your blog admin section and browse the latest comments.

So Enjoy blogging, enjoy spam comments 🙂 …. “More spam hits your blog, congratulate yourself for becoming more famous”

I am back again

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Hiya everyone,

I am back at http://www.meabhi.com/blog/ . After two trips to Hong kong , one trip to Bombay (oops  Mumbai) , one to Pune and one to Delhi . Ohhh seven months were so freaking busy that I did not even  get the time  to delete the spam comments.  Finally I got the time to clean them. Ahh feels good to get rid of the spam menace.  Thinking of writing a post on spam menace now. Till then ciao!

Inverted pyramids in print media

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Inverted pyramid is a metaphor that illustrates how information should be structured or presented in a text. Journalists have long adhered to the inverted pyramid format. To understand what an inverted pyramid format means, one has to imagine the shape of an upside down triangle. As rightly put by Ken Blake, to comprehend the inverse pyramid one needs to “picture an upside-down triangle — one with the narrow tip pointing downward and the broad base pointing upward.” Metaphorically, the broad base represents the most important/useful information in a text and the narrow tip represents the least useful information.

There are several stories that talk about the beginning of inverted pyramid format in American journalism. Perhaps the most popular myth is that the inverted pyramid story form came into use during the Civil War. Everett M. Rogers, in his textbook on media named Communication Technology, wrote that Associated Press reporters during the Civil War were instructed “to put the most important facts in the first sentence of the news story, with less crucial information in each succeeding sentence.”

During the Civil War, reporters in the field who wired their stories on the day’s battles relied on telegraph lines. However, telegraph lines often failed, thus the reporters had to make sure they sent the most important facts of their news story first. Thus, even if a telegraph line got disconnected during a story, at least the most important part would probably get through.

Another sect of journalism historians believe that technological constraints of telegraph cannot be accounted for the change that occurred in newspaper writing during the Civil war. According to them, it was the exorbitant charges of telegraph lines that led to the departure of traditional and slow – paced way of news writing. Telegraph lines were expensive to use, they charged by the word. Newspapers spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in telegraph costs to report the Civil War. Thus, the expensive distribution cost influenced a new kind of writing that departed from the flowery language of the 19th century and was succinct.

However, some researchers who have studied the news writing style of the popular American papers during the Civil War find numerous examples of stories written in long winded way rather than the “first news first” style. According to David T. Z. Mindich, a journalism historian, “the inverted pyramid was born with the coverage of Lincoln’s death.”

7 Places from where ideas come

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Did Einstein wake up one morning with the idea of discovering the theory of relativity? What about the Microsoft? Did Bill Gates get a dream or some angel whispered the idea into his ears? From where did these great and world changing ideas come from? I thought of asking our big G uncle about these eureka moments and look what I found out:

• Social media sites: Sites like facebook, orkut, WAYN, tagged are hub of activities. You might be feeling that I am asking you borrow (or in worst case steal) someone else’s idea. But this is not true; remember that all new ideas are created with the help of the existing ones.
• Forums: In web forums you would find discussions on varied topics. From democracy in Nepal to how to choose a stiletto for your kitchen, everything is there. You can pick up your ideas from here. Hey its not copying its called getting inspired 😀
• Blogs : Get ideas from fellow bloggers. Word of caution here: do not copy their mistakes. 😉
• Google alerts: Thousands of ideas are zipping across the net. Google alerts help you in bringing together. Google alerts is one of my personal favorites when it comes to idea searching.

If you are thinking that the world of web is the one and only generator of ideas, then you are wrong. Here is a list of other ways that can aid you in generating “one of kind” ideas.

• Everyday conversation: Ideas can crop up anywhere. While talking to your wife, colleague, friends, boss or even the kid whom you give private tuitions. Therefore always keep a notebook handy, so that you can scribble it quickly.

• Sheer frustration : Ideas can hit you anywhere, even at times when you least expect them to hit you. Don’t believe me. Read this story:

“Whenever Mike Pratt hit his Salt Lake City health club, he started his workout by wrestling a too-big gym bag into a too-small locker. One day Pratt — a high school graduate working as a car salesman — pried out his bag, drove home, and headed for the drafting table he had acquired to support his design hobby. Using cardboard, scissors, and tape, the 24-year-old athlete created the model for his dream duffel. He shaped the rectangular bag not only so that it would slide into a standard gym storage unit — measurements he’d obtained that same day by calling several manufacturers — but so that it would easily hold shoes, a water bottle, and toiletries. And unlike most soft-sided bags, Pratt’s prototype surrounded a durable rigid frame that made it easier to access the bag’s contents.” Now, Pratt runs a company called Ogio International that manufactures gym bags, backpacks and golf bags as well. So, the crux of the matter: “Think out of the box”.

• Sleep: Hmmm don’t glare at me. It’s true. Many people get ideas when they fall asleep. This isn’t just my assumption. Researches say that when brain is in the relaxing mode then it gets ready for the subconscious to take over. At this time our brain becomes more open and would try to resolve the irresolvable and in the process comes up with remarkable ideas. So, the next time your boss asks you to do a brainstorming session to get more ideas, just say “Sir can I go home and take a nap?” 😉

Its important to get ideas but equally important is to act on them. So, when an idea pops into your head try to implement it.

Hey guys, it’s time for me to sleep now . ciao!!!! See ya soon 🙂

How links work ?

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Hey all,

Being in the online media for the past two years, I know a bit about link development strategies. I have put down some of my findings. So, settle in and read:

Boss said to his secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangements.

Secretary makes a call to the Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband makes a call to his secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.

Secret lover makes a call to the small boy whom she gives private tuition: I have some work for a week, so you need not come for the classes.

The boy makes call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don’t have classes ‘coz my teacher is busy. Lets spend the week together.

Grandpa(the 1st boss 😉 ) makes call to his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.

Secretary makes a call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we canceled our trip.

Husband makes a call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together, my wife has canceled her trip.

Secret lover makes a call to the small boy whom she gives private tuition: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy calls up his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can’t give you company.

Grandpa makes call to his secretary: Don’t worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangements .

Tired with non real problems

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The ac has conked out. My maid did not come for the last two days. Iam pissed off with my driver, so I kicked him out. Now I travel in bus and autos and taxis and rickshaws. The doctor says that I have to lose weight and restrain myself from eating spicy food ( I love having food from shere Punjab, I have to stop that now) For the past few days, Iam suffering from mild depression, not being able to get proper sleep. The dentist says that I might need a root canal. I think I should go and get my eyes checked, but the doc is not in the town. I think I need a laptop now, Iam bugged with my old desktop. I need a new antivirus, the current one is about to expire. I have to increase the RAM, I need a technical person who can format my comp.

I have been through a thorough back stabbing. I have been interacting with people who are master at mincing their words (grrrrrrrrrrr). I have to meet the deadline. I have soooooo many commitments to fulfill. Sometimes I feel that I need more than 24 hrs in a day. The bad weather has taken its toll on me. Humidity is drowning me. My back is aching. My digestive system is disturbed. I have to take a hell lot of medicines. Sometimes, I forget to take them on time. I think Iam becoming forgetful. There’s no end in the sight…….there is no help on the horizon.

Today when I think of these problems, I feel that they are not real. The problem that I faced yesterday was for my breath. . I had to take a Zofer 4mg injection. At that moment I was fighting for breath and not fighting the blues. Iam happy that Iam living. Thanks GOD for helping me out.

I have promised myself that I won’t be worrying about unnecessary things from now onwards.

At this juncture I remember a quote saying ” It’s amazing how storm clouds recede with a little change in one’s perspective.”

8 Tips on subject verb agreement

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“Both the United States of America and China supports the new proposal.” As I was glancing through the archive sections of a well known news agency, this particular line struck me. Though, it’s a
common error in writing. Often times, the content writer gets confused with what is called “error of proximity” (situations where the verb is made to agree with a noun that is near to it).

On the net, I have seen many instances where the writer has used wrong form of the verb for its subject. Given below are some tips on how to avoid them, after all grammatical errors in your writing can cost you heavily. Isn’t it?

  1. Singular nouns and pronouns joined by the word “and” are generally plural.Example: Gold and silver are precious metals.
    However, if the nouns suggest one idea, or refer to the same person or the same thing then the verb is singular.

    Example:The novelist and the great poet is dead. (This sentence is about a single person who was a novelist and also a poet)

  2. “Does not” should be used only with a singular subject. “Do not” should be used only with a plural subject.

    Example: She does not like to write.

  3. When two or more singular subjects are connected with each other by: “nor” and “ or” , then the verb must be singular.

    Example: Neither the student nor the teacher was interested in taking the class.

  4. When the subjects joined by “nor” and “or” are of different persons, in that case the verb agrees with the subject nearer to it.

    Example: Neither the lecturer nor the students want to attend the farewell. ( in this construction, want agrees with students )

  5. “Each”, “everyone”, “everybody”, “nobody” must be followed by a singular verb.

    Example: Nobody expects to fail when they start a business.

  6. There are some nouns that are plural in form but have a singular meaning. These subjects will take a singular verb.

    Example: The news is bad.

  7. “There is” and “there are” agree with the noun that follows.

    Example: There are students in the room.

  8. Collective nouns take a singular verb, such as: group, team, committee, class, and family.

    Example: The committee has issued its report.

In very few instances, it is seen that the plural verb is used if the individuals in the group are thought of and specifically referred to.

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