Abhirupa Purkayastha – Simplifying Life

1 Don’t eat chowmein, it leads to rape.

Here’s the topper. Don’t eat chowmein, it leads to rape. Well, this one comes from Jitender Chhatar, a Khaap Panchayat leader who when asked about the reasons for growing incidents of rapes in Haryana blamed it on chowmein!  “To my understanding, consumption of fast food contributes to such incidents. Chowmein leads to hormonal imbalance evoking an urge to indulge in such acts.”

(img source- biharprabha)

2) Dalits need Jupiter’s escape velocity for success.

“The escape velocity for earth is 11.2 km/sec while that of Jupiter is 60 km/sec. In India we have the concept of caste. There is an escape velocity here also. For a Dalit to achieve success the escape velocity required is that of Jupiter. More effort is needed.”  These were Rahul Gandhi’s thoughts on Dalit empowerment.

(img source – outlookindia)

3 If you can’t prevent rape, you enjoy it.

This shocker comes from none other than Central Bureau of Investigation chief Ranjit Sinha during a conference about illegal sports betting and the need to legalize gambling.

(img source – indianexpress)

4 I must do the penance that lacerates me. I am therefore offering to recuse myself from the editorship of Tehelka, and from the Tehelka office, for the next six months.

This heavy-worded email from Tarun Tejpal of Tehelka comes after he was accused of sexually assaulting a junior journalist at Tehelka. Here his highness his deciding his punishment for the assault. Well, there’s something called law of the land, he forgot that for a  while, I think!

(img source – newskarnatka)

5 I’m a virgin and I’m saving myself for my future wife.

(img source – sportalink)

6 ‘Dhoom’ is my film and I am the hero.

Abhishek Bachchan likes to believe that Dhoom is his film. And we’re like Okkkk.

7 “Dr Bharti is not only physically stout, but she is like a roadroller that can crush every problem coming her way”.

Jairam Ramesh called a stout lady doctor a ‘roadroller’ at the inauguration of an eye camp. He said this in Hindi “‘Dr Bharti dekhne me bhi kuch tagdi hain aur kaam bhi aisa karti hain road roller ki maafik’). Well he didn’t stop there. The politician added that he “sympathized with her husband ( who is also an eye specialist) and he should be awarded Padma Vibhushan.”

(img source – newindianexpress)

8 “Even today in Mumbai city, I can have a full meal at Rs.12. No no, not vada paav. So much of rice, daal sambhar and with that some vegetables are also mixed.”

Raj Babbar eats a full meal at Rs 12! Quite indigestible…no not the meal but the comment. Well, the actor turned politician had to apologize for his comments.

(img source – change.org)

9 “He has been fasting for the last 55 days. If there is no water in the dam, how can we release it? Should we urinate into it? If there is no water to drink, even urination is not possible”.

Ajit Pawar, deputy chief minister of Maharashtra,  made this insensitive remark mocking a farmer from a drought-hit  area in Solapur. The farmer was on a hunger strike in Mumbai demanding more water.

(img source – ibn)

10 I don’t watch Hindi Films.

Kareena doesn’t watch Hindi Films. And she adds ” even Saif doesn’t watch Hindi films”. Well, after movies like Bullet Raja and Gori Tere Pyaar Mein – one filmy couple who must watch Hindi films every Friday is Saifina!

( img source – hindustantimes)